You know those times when you look around and realized God has walked you into a new season? You’re already there. Maybe you’ve been there a while. But something prompts you to look up, look around, and see that something has shifted.
This fall, almost eight years after my marriage fell apart, I’ve made some new friends. Some are people of faith. And all of them are somewhere on the road of divorce.
One of my greatest struggles in this entire experience has been where I “fit” in faith community as a single mom, divorced woman, and follower of Jesus. Based on the Gospel and life of Christ, that shouldn’t be so hard. But in real world church and other faith communities it is. Harder than it probably should be, if we’re all being honest.
So, this exploration into faith-based relationships with other people who love the Lord has been edifying…and now that I look back feels a tad overdue.
And it has only been partially intentional on my part. But totally on purpose for God…of that I’m certain.
Insta-Friends
Thanks to social media, I now have my first 100-percent Insta-friend. I found my new friend Amy on Instagram when I was searching the platform a while back looking for other people writing about to divorce. If they loved Jesus, that was a major bonus.
Amy is much braver than I am. Her Instagram is @thedivorcedchristian. I instantly like people who call things what they are. And when they are courageous enough to do it in the gladiator arena of social media, I admire them even more.
Amy and I had the chance to connect over the phone this summer and the conversation was salve to my soul. Another human openly exploring what it feels like to walk away from marriage, love Jesus, and try to live in faith communities…all at the same time.
She’s got several great posts that I’ve loved recently. Two I’m still thinking on are:
God Hates Divorce (Part 2) – Yep. My new friend Amy doesn’t spare words and she’s boldly laying out much of what we Jesus-following divorced people mumble when the married Christians…often from pulpits…paint divorce with broad strokes. I told you she was brave.
Not Celebrating the Twentieth Anniversary – This one is super relatable if you’ve been there. The milestones we won’t celebrate are something we often mourn a lot longer than we mourn the actual relationship. I loved Amy’s take on this reality and the “both/and” approach to seeing good in new milestones.
Check out Amy’s blog at www.amysjournal.com and follow her on Instagram at @thedivorcedchristian. You won’t regret it.
Oasis Ministry
Speaking of faith communities, we made a church switch in summer 2019. That’s how I roll. Change churches less than six-months before the world shuts down and you don’t meet in person for a year.
The fact that we are even more engaged at North Point Community Church speaks to their giftedness at creating community.
One of the aspects that drew me to NPCC is how matter-of-factly they handle life circumstances that aren’t ideal. From the preaching (see my post A Sermon Series On Love That Won’t Make You Puke), to the small group support taking into consideration a variety of live realities, I felt known within about a week.
I’ve had the privilege of working in NPCC’s divorce ministry, Oasis. This is a small group, 8-week group for those walking the reality of divorce, and leading a group this fall has been both one of the hardest things I’ve done in the past eight years and one of the most rewarding experiences of my lifetime. It is amazing when you keep learning from other people, and when you see God redeeming your own experience by using it to help others earlier on this hard journey.
So, season shifts feel good even when we don’t know they are coming and when we don’t get there on purpose. I’m grateful for a God who loves me enough to use the things of this world to intersect my path with others who He’ll use to encourage and grow me. I’m feeling sort of certain that even Instagram can be part of our sanctification…right?
