Doing the Work in Front of Us

Sometimes even when we do our best to live day-to-day like Jesus, we miss what He puts in front of us. In this season all about love, here’s a post from several years ago about the day my daughter showed me how to love like Jesus. I’ve had the privilege of sharing this story in other spaces, and it keeps speaking to my soul and chipping away at some of the un-love-like-ness in my life. I hope it is inspiring for you, too.

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“Why didn’t we help her?”

That thought kept reverberating through my mind all evening as I made dinner for my people. I’ve had encounters like that before, but this time I couldn’t let it go. The look in her eyes – one mama to another – shook me to my core.

Earlier that day, my then nine-year old and I were getting gasoline when she approached me. She told me about her children. How she was struggling to feed them. She asked if I had anything that could help her.

In the moment, I felt both heartache for her situation and caught off guard. I knew I, as usual, had no cash in my wallet. There were also those world-trained bells ringing in my head questioning in a split second her authenticity.

I told her the truth. I had no cash on me. And then I got back in the car when the tank was full.

From the back seat, the voice said, “Mom, you’ve got change in the change holder.”

I was silent and put the car in drive.

The one in the backseat is known for her persistence. “Mom, the gas station has a store inside. Can we buy food in there with your card and give it to her?”

At this point we were out of the parking lot and I stopped at the red light scanning the gas station behind us for the woman as I rethought my decision to drive away. I couldn’t find her.

The light turned green and we went home.

Two hours later, I was still thinking about the woman as I made dinner for my children. Food I could afford to give them and there was more in the refrigerator and pantry for their breakfast the next day – and snack for school…and dinner for the next night. We had more than enough food for the week ahead.

Now, in full transparency, we aren’t living in the lap of luxury with abundance at every turn. As a single mom raising two children, I understand financial limitations in a way I did not before our lives changed. We live in a very different financial reality than we used to. But, even with our limited budget, I still had enough to feed my children.

The extra loaf of bread in the freezer was the final conviction point for me. In my head I said something to the effect of, “Ok, Lord. I hear You.”

We sat down for dinner and over our meal the little sister and I shared with the big brother our encounter at the gas station. And then this mom had confession time.

I shared with my children that I was uncomfortable with how I chose to respond. I confessed to them that I was convicted that I should have done something. And I asked them for their help to come up with a plan for what we could do when we meet people in need like we often do in a metropolitan area.

In my over-thinker mind, I was planning for how we’d meet someone’s immediate need, but also educate them on a shelter, job resources, the works. You know? Be what I, in my complete naivete, imagined to be the entire solution for every person we met.

My kids, it turns out, are way more in tune with how Jesus often actually wants to use us. They saw what I was blinded to as an adult used to solving problems. They saw that the woman needed food. She needed it then. And we could not assume she needed – or that Jesus wanted us to do – any more than that.

That night as I tucked them into bed, I was struck by how often I hit pause on the call of the Lord because I need to see how the entire solution is going to play out. “Use me, Lord!” I’ll pray. But somewhere in my overachieving mind, I put qualifiers in there like “Let’s end this entire problem…”

Solving big problems is often the work of God. But, so are small steps to immediate help.

Yes, I believe we should look to end systemic problems like hunger and poverty. Yes, I believe the Lord uses individuals and organizations to do that in big ways around this big world. And, I am so thankful He does.

But, I also know that in my own sinful pride, I used waiting to be part of a big solution as a sorry cop out for doing nothing in the day to day moments when I saw people in need. And that day at the gas station, I hit the point where I couldn’t do that any longer. The Lord used the persistent little person in the back seat to open my eyes.

Ours is not a long-term solution. Ours is not a perfect system. Ours is not the only small step toward meeting someone in their need. And, ours is neither one I share to elevate myself and my children, nor is it an effort to shame others into action.

Ours is simply an effort to say, “Jesus, we want You to use us in the redemption only You provide. Show us where you want us to be a small step toward immediate help and we will be ready to do what You ask.”

Our help right now is Ziploc bags of granola bars, peanut butter crackers, and bottled water. We loaded them up in a larger bag and have kept them in the van on hand.

And we prayed that God would put us in the paths of the people who needed what we had at the moment they needed it. And we prayed that our eyes would be open for them.

It was over a month before we saw her. Another mom in need. This time at our grocery store in the far corner of the parking lot. Again, it was me and the persistent little sister. And this time, the one in the back seat saw her first and yelled, “MOM!!!!! WE CAN HELP HER!!!”

What happened next was not a long term solution. It was not an end to this mother’s plight and we did not feed her children multiple meals. What happened next was two humans trying to see another human and to love her in that moment the best way we could.

After meeting this mom, introducing myself, asking about her children, and offering what we had that seemed so meager in my (still) over-achiever mind, the gratitude in her eyes told me how much she needed what we offered. When I felt that granola bars and peanut butter crackers felt so insufficient in light of her situation, she saw them as a need met – not for good, but for that afternoon.

And I know that we saw Jesus work.

Big solutions are awesome, world changing, and for sure a part of how God works. But, He is also the God of details. He is the God small moments in the day to day of our lives. He is the God of meeting immediate needs as He lays the groundwork for how the big solution will play out. And He’s the God that chooses to involve us in those small steps (and sometimes big solutions).

What small steps can we stop overlooking to be the hands and feet of Jesus in our own sphere today?

It seems like it starts with seeing the people around us. Especially those easiest for us to not see. People on the edges of the hustle of life. And then keeping not only our eyes open, but our hearts open to listen to the Lord.

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

Micah 6:8

Jesus taught me that day at the gas station that it was not my job to decide how He’d use me. My only job that He asks of me is to love the people He puts in front of me. And to love them humbly offering what I have and not waiting to be part of something big. Small and humble actions are some of God’s favorite ways of involving us in His will.

Sometimes loving is solving. Sometimes it is fixing. And sometimes, it is being a small blessing in a single moment of the life in front of us.