This winter, I’ve joined a Bible study on racial reconciliation and the role the church plays in this process. This week’s lesson was on the shame we can feel as a part of examining our past as a cultural group and as part of the homework, we were asked to watch Brene’ Brown’s TED talk on Same and Guilt.
Love her points on the value of vulnerability and distinguishing the differences between shame and guilt. Brene’ points out that shame is reflective of a negative view of ourselves (i.e I am bad therefore I have no value) and guilt where we have a negative reaction to something we did (i.e. I did a bad thing). Shame has a direct correlation to risky choices while guilt has the exact opposite.
Left me with several thoughts.
First, vulnerability is probably one of the most uncomfortable places for me to spend any time. I am really uncomfortable being seen fully. But, Brene’ points out that vulnerability is the genesis of all innovation, creativity, and change – all things I like and try to implement in both my professional and personal life.
Second, the only place I am more uncomfortable than vulnerability is shame. I loathe anything close to regret and shame, for me, is regret at its absolute worst. Shame seems to be a feeling or state of mind that does not seem to have much productive benefit and can be dangerous. It is a mindset that what I’ve done or had done to me makes me have less worth. No wonder I don’t like that feeling.
Last, add guilt to the list of things I hate to feel. But, guilt seems to be a more productive emotion. It seems it is a motivator to make better choices, shows self-awareness about our own actions, and is a valuable place to spend some thought as we reflect on decisions made.
Lots to still unpack here and, like most of Brene’s content, I’ll be revisiting this one again soon.
