“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next.”
I sat with my sister at lunch the day I realized there was no option but to end my marriage. And over a salad I didn’t really eat, I shared all that brought me to this day and ended with the realization that I knew what had to happen, but I had no idea what to do next.
In the days and weeks to come, family, close friends, a family law attorney, a pastor, my Christian counselor, and the family law court in our county would begin to help me see what each next step should be. And through each of those conversations, I found myself praying for wisdom to a degree I’d never done before in my life.
After all, my marriage was ending and that was no light issue for me – personally and spiritually. My children were involved. We were where we were and if I had to take these horrible next steps, I knew I had to do so with wise choices that sought to honor God.
But, how do you do that? How do you wisely navigate a process that is inherently complicated, fueled by emotion and heartbreak, and into which many different voices end up speaking?
In the years that have followed my own experience, God has intersected my life with others at these early days in their own lives where they are in need of their own next step. That desire for wisdom, whether verbally acknowledged or not, is something we all crave in these hardest of experiences. The book of James gives us great perspective on what godly wisdom looks like.
“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”
James 3:17
When the cry of our heart is, “God please show me what to do and how to do it,” James gives us the answer. In a world of confusion, wisdom from above is characteristically opposite to how the world around us typically operates.
Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary points out that in this verse, James is showing us the opposite of a life filled with confusion. “True wisdom may be known by the meekness of spirit and temper…Those who live in malice, envy, and contention, live in confusion.”
So, today as we seek wisdom, let’s throw off malice. Let’s vow not to make decisions or react out of envy. And let’s look for common ground – or at least places where we can let go of having the last word.
That’s the right next step in whatever situation we find ourselves.
