“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”
Galatians 6:9
It has been a long time since anyone in my life has received 100% of what they need from me.
Almost like a horrible version of the shell game, I’m moving a hidden ball of energy, focus, and attention around to different corners of my life. Who gets what they need from me today? You’ll have to gamble that in this moment your “shell” is the winner.
And I don’t think I’m the only one feeling this way.
These middle years of life bring a peak of responsibility for many of us. Careers in full swing. Raising children and teenagers, while beginning to speak a bit more actively into the daily lives of our own parents. Adult things like mortgages, meal planning, and car maintenance demand our attention. Folded into many of our lives are lingering, fractured dynamics that just won’t, or can’t, completely heal over. We’ve lived long enough, after all, to have some relationships go off the rails, or at least wander off trail for a bit.
Layer on top of that a pandemic and a bubbling up of all that is hurting and broken and languishing in our world.
Processing it all is exhausting, and many of us are left absolutely fried. Our hearts are discouraged by what sometimes feels like a dark tunnel with little light filtering through and limited off ramps to move in the direction we thought we were heading. In busy seasons layered with brutal hurt, illness, and the live-upending impact of the pandemic, it can be hard to see any progress or forward movement.
We are far beyond tired.
We are weary, completely spent physically, mentally, and emotionally.
And yet, we are called – and many of us feel moved – to do the good work. Paul reminds us in his letter to the church at Galatia to not grow weary in doing good. There is a promise of reaping the good we are sowing, a forecasted light at the end of the tunnel if we can just persevere. So how do we do it? How do we keep our eye on the prize, keep plugging away at the good we are called to do, and protect ourselves from total depletion?
For starters, we can’t nap ourselves out of weary. That may work when we are physically tired, but weary is a different level of exhaustion that may have little to do with our physical reality. It takes more intentional and ongoing practices to protect, refill, and buoy our souls against the weariness that will inevitably come knocking on our soul’s door as we do life in this broken world.
In this experience of living real-life in hard spaces that can be draining, there are a few practices that have helped me both dig out of weariness and keep it at bay.
Guard your heart with truth
“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” Proverbs 4:23
I’ve never been a fan of fun house mirrors. The curves and ripples in the mirrors distort whoever or whatever is standing in front of them in a way that creeped me out as a kid.
Well, it turns out that as adults there is a different kind of fun house mirror we can encounter. When we are spent and weary, we are much more prone to convincing ourselves that discouraging lies are actually true.
It will always be like this.
You’re the reason nothing ever works out.
No one else feels this way.
But here’s the thing we cannot let ourselves forget – weariness contorts reality. In our weakest moments of exhaustion when we are worn down by the never-ending-ness of our circumstances, we are prime targets for distortions of truth. And when we buy into the lies, we make ourselves much more likely to live in a cycle of weariness making it harder and harder to disentangle ourselves.
And while we may not be able to keep the risk of weary at bay, we can prepare ourselves for the inevitable seasons when the hits keep coming and our reserves begin to be depleted. And that starts with making a habit of guarding our hearts with truth.
How do you know the truth? Start by spending time with it. Make it your primary diet.
For me, committing to a spiritual discipline of daily reading and reflection in the Bible has proven to be a life-giving, truth-protecting practice. Even when I’m convinced I’m too tired. Or too worn out. Or too disappointed. Time and time again, this has been the anchor that has gently pulled me back toward where I want to be grounded.
Second, surround yourself with truth. Fill your life with people who are grounded, who love you, and who will be your mirror of truth, not a fun house mirror that distorts and misshapes what you see. In seasons when life’s edges have been hard and hurtful, friends and family who have listened to me speak honestly about what I’m thinking and feeling and worrying have been helpful. Those who have spoken up to say, “but you know some of that isn’t true, right?” have been absolutely life giving.
Line your days with a regular intake of truth, and line your life with people – just a few will do – who know you and know the truth. Be brave enough to look truth in the eye every day, and have the courage to be honest with those people in your life who will call you out – gently – if your weariness begins to distort reality.
Lastly, be kind to yourself, friend. You are not the only one feeling this way and I bet deep down you know that. Remember who you are and Whose you are, and don’t fall into the lies of that fun house mirror.
Once you’ve lined your life with truth, intentionally refilling your cup must be a priority. Check back later for thoughts on refilling your soul – and yes, Netflix can count!
